Harmony between heart and genitals
What a strange title to this blog post! There has been much talk in recent years about the mind-body connection, as well as other types of harmony within us. “Splits” between feelings and intellect or...
View ArticleSafety in numbers
Truths, like coins, often have two sides. Just as birds of a feather flock together, so also do opposites attract. Of course, when we speak of one side of the coin we often act and think as if the...
View ArticleMotivation lagging? Self-esteem beaten up?
I spoke to a friend a few minutes ago who is doing his best to date. He spoke of the difficulties he is running into, and I expressed my belief that it takes nerves of steel to date these days and...
View ArticleThe bully on the playground (and other places) – Part 2
When I started my professional life as a psychologist I went to a major bookstore and pulled several children’s books off the shelves about bullying. I needed some strategies to offer kids that I met...
View ArticleThe bully on the playground (and other places) – Part 1
I’ll never forget the first time in group therapy when I asked the men in the group if they had ever been bullied. The group got strangely quiet, and yet seemed emotionally charged. I quickly...
View ArticleDiscerning who to trust
When we take risks interpersonally it is important to do so with our eyes open. There’s an old saying about how to open up to others. It goes Share – Check – Share. This describes the process of...
View ArticleThe breadth of sex
When I think of sex, I think of three different categories: gender sexuality, romantic sex, and genital sex. What’s the difference? To me “gender sexuality” is that aspect of our nature that is most...
View ArticleDon’t wound your family and friends with judgment
That’s what it will feel like to them–a wound. Over and over again in my therapy room people tell stories of being judged by others. Often the judgement is not obvious. It can easily be a tone of voice...
View ArticleBig feelings and little feelings–know which one your partner is having
Recently in a therapy session I hit on an idea that seemed really helpful. It is simple, as most helpful ideas are. Here it is: When your partner is upset, ask yourself, “Is this a big feeling or a...
View ArticleBlaming your spouse for your self esteem
You are responsible for your self esteem. It’s true. Ultimately, we are all responsible to take the actions necessary to help us feel good about ourselves. As children our parents were supposed to...
View ArticleWhere to find friends? Try personal growth groups.
Friends are more important than vitamins. In fact, good ones are like emotional vitamins. They make our lives go better. I’ve talked a lot about this in this blog. However, the question arises…Where do...
View ArticleHow to share yourself with others and keep your dignity
I guess I’m stuck on the topic of personal sharing at the moment. This and the two previous posts concern this topic. But, I think each post hits the topic a bit differently, so here goes! The topic...
View ArticleA short summary of what you probably already know about developing good self...
Throughout this blog it is my passion that my readers feel better about themselves after spending time here. It’s what I care about most, and my best gift to offer you. So, at the risk of seeming...
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